35-year old New Bedford man self identifies as Pee Wee footballer, dominates league
A 35-year old New Beford man is shattering records, and sometimes bones, in the New Bedford Youth Football League this year. Jim “The Whale” Smith was recently allowed to play against 11-year olds after he self-identified as a 7th grade “Pee Wee” league footballer.
“I eat, live and breathe football,” stated Jim. “It’s the thing I live for and when I heard about self identifying I just couldn’t resist.”
“We didn’t even have to sue the state to let Jim play,” said John David, Jim’s family lawyer. “As soon as we mentioned ‘self identify’ the league capitulated and let him play.”
Jim has dominated the league, shattering year long records in a single game.
“In my first game I scored 19 touchdowns out of 20 times carrying the ball. The only time I didn’t score was when an unconscious kid’s arm got caught in my belt. I dragged him for a while, but he definitely slowed me down just enough to allow the other 12 kids to catch up and take me down.”
Not everyone one is on Jim’s side.
“A few parents were angry that a 250-pound, 35-year old man was allowed to play with 11-year olds,” Said Jim’s lawer. “But after being called out on their intolerance and racism, a few boycotts and getting fined by the state they came around to our side. Now the entire community supports Jim.”