Acme motors ships 2016 cars without turn signals to Massachusetts
In a controversial move, Acme Motors became the first car maker to produce vehicles without the turn signal system in them.
“We call the turn-signal-less vehicle the New Englander,” said Acme CEO Jim Patrick. “Our studies showed the turn signal in New England was the most underutilized part of our vehicles. It was like an appendix. It didn’t make sense to ship cars with useless organs.”
Acme Motors stock soared 90% on the news driving their share price from $10 to $19 on the New Boston Stock Exchange. James “Lights Out” Toney will be the first official spokesman for the new vehicles.
“We expect the company to save $100 million over the next few years,” said Kevin McCormick, a stock analyst with McCormick & McCormick, a leading auto industry analyst.
But the move has consequences and hurt turn signal manufacturers revenue. “What the f*ck am I suppose to do with all these turn signal sticks? Lights?” stated CEO Randy Johnson. “I’m going to have to lay off thousands.”