Where something always smells fishy!

Bristol County judges with highest rate of ‘Wrist Slapping Carpal Tunnel’


Judges across Bristol County are suffering from what doctors call ‘Wrist Slapping Carpal Tunnel.’ In fact, according to the findings of a recent study, 95% of criminal judges in New Bedford and Fall River have been diagnosed with the painful disease. The report cites that slapping the wrists of 100’s of suspects daily at arraignments have taken their toll.

“It’s a local epidemic,” stated Dr. Jim Chives, head of medical research at Carpal Tunnel Research in Dartmouth, MA. “Judges across Bristol County, especially at the district court in New Bedford, are suffering at twice the rate of the national average. They need opioids for the pain and more time off.”

Massachusetts legislators have stepped in making it a priority in the next legislative session.

“We want the American people to know that we take this seriously.” Stated Representative Stanley DeLeo. “We pushed off opioid crisis legislation and bathroom bills to tackle this important topic. As soon as we finish voting on our pay raises, we will push for judges to get a pay raise, more time off and a stipend for opioid prescriptions.”

“Wrists are an important part of the body,” stated Susan Cusack, head of the Coalition for Justice. “It doesn’t matter if it’s the suspect’s wrist or the judge’s wrist – both need protection. We are organizing a million man march and spreading the hash tag #AllWristsMatter through social media to spotlight this important topic.

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