Dog Laments About Escaping ‘Hell House’ for Third Time
In an excursive interview through a psychic dog medium, Mr. Bojangles lamented about his third attempted escape from a ‘hell house’ where his owners abused him with a rolled up newspaper, made him wear sweaters and fed him discount food made in China.
“Every time I escaped,” Mr. Bojangles stated through Jan his psychic medium, “my owner put out a missing dog post through Facebook and I was quickly captured by smiling old ladies in a mini van. They’d trick me with treats and sweet old lady voices.”
When confronted by these allegations the owners denied mistreating Mr. Bojangles. “Really? A pet psychic medium told you this?” Chuckled Jim DaSilva, his smile quickly drying up into a blank stare.
Mr. Bojangles would wander the streets of New Bedford, bullied by local street dogs. “They ridiculed my sweater and tricked me into eating “meats” and peeing on electric fences. My time on the streets came to an end when I passed a person who did a double-take, took out her smart phone and started following me. The stranger took a photo, typed away on her phone and within minutes a mini van pulled up with a few old lades with snausages.”
Asked if he was contemplating a fourth escape, Mr. Bojangles didn’t say anything, but did pass us a sticky note on the way out that read ‘TAKE ME WITH YOU!”