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Mass DOT to install social media friendly traffic lights


In a controversial move, the Massachusetts Department of Transportation is upgrading all the traffic intersection lights throughout Massachusetts with a fourth social media friendly light.

“We thought a hashtag made the most sense,” stated Mass DOT public affairs representative Jim Dirkman. “Hashtags are appealing and and people may get confused by an @ symbol.”

After an extensive $30 million study Massachusetts state legislators decided to make the change. The study found that 90% of drivers at red lights immediately grab their phone to make important social media updates. The new lights go from red to a blue hashtag for one second and then to green. During the 1-second hashtag light the voice of Kylie Jenner says “Bible” to notify those looking down at their laps to finish up.

“We thought about paying people not to post social media updates at red lights,” stated local State Senator Marcus Montgomery. “But we decided it would be best to just change our entire infrastructure to create jobs.”


Preview of the social media friendly lights.



  • Cindy
    February 5, 2016 @ 7:28 pm

    If true this is the ridiculous waste of taxpayer money to date… So now we are encouraging people to use their phones while driving even though it is illegal to do so?


    • ryan
      February 6, 2016 @ 12:37 pm

      Lady this is a satire site, lord help you.


  • lily rodriguez
    February 5, 2016 @ 9:05 pm

    now the wait at the light is a little longer …’s bad enough u have to sit there and wait for it to turn green some take longer to turn but know an extra light to accommodate texters..really? so what would be the point for the text law ?


  • Crystal Almeida
    February 5, 2016 @ 9:33 pm

    stupidest thing ever, tax payers money is being used for this dumb ass shit. are you kidding., how does that make sense when its illegal to use your phone while driving. and $30 million dollars of our hard earned money paid for this study. Dumb ass Mass.


    • Rich
      February 8, 2016 @ 1:32 am

      It’s a satire site. Please don’t vote or reproduce.


      • Kevin Alves
        February 13, 2016 @ 6:55 pm

        How do people get threw life lol? Crazy how even one person would believe this, nevermind multiple people. Unreal. Maybe if they post about anyone else who is this dumb can’t vote or reproduce they will believe it haha!


  • Thomas Zwolenski
    February 7, 2016 @ 2:06 am

    Joke right?


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