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New Bedford grocery stores now offer “Death Cart Race” during winter storms

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“Need to get your bread and milk the day before a winter storm, but there are way too many people shopping? For $19.99 you can rent a “Death Cart” at your local grocery store and get in and out in a breeze!”

That’s the new commercial circulating on TV and radio, produced by Acme Carts, the company offering a new “Death Cart” service for shoppers in New Bedford frustrated with congested aisles and long lines during snow storms.

“Local grocery stores are responding to customer concerns,” stated Acme Cart public affairs officer Chip Rogers. “There is a rush to grocery stores the day before winter storms, but many stay home to avoid the crowded stores. Grocery stores are looking to attract these shoppers to their stores with this new cart that allows them become the “Alpha Shopper.”

Reaction was mostly positive to the new service “I would definitely give it a try,” said Peggy Carvahlo, a 72-year old from New Bedford. “I’m so sick of those young idiots blocking my path while on their computer phones surfing the interwebs.”

“Look we have way too many customers anyways,” stated a representative from Market Bin, who wished to remain anonymous. “Between you and I, we could use a little bit of “thinning the herd” if you know what I mean.”

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