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Red Sox to release list of people allowed to use the N word at Fenway


Fresh off their banning of two people from the Fenway stadium for using the N word, the Boston Red Sox will officially release a list of people allowed to used the N word at Fenway. Red Sox officials wouldn’t release the full list yet, but gave the media a preview.

“It goes without saying, if you are white, and not transitioning to African American like Rachel Dolezal, you are not allowed to use the N word.” said, Jim Thomas, the unofficial Red Sox’s spokesperson. “Unless you are Eminem. He’s the asterisk.”

Thomas continued. “If you are African-American, but not white South African-American or white Zimbabwean-American, you can use the word without question. If you are a minority, and dressed like a rapper and in an argument or fist fight, you can use the N word.”

When asked how officials will enforce this in a stadium of over 30,000, Thomas replied, “I find that question racist and offensive and won’t dignify it with a response.” The media representative was removed from the press conference and given a lifetime ban.

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