Write-in Candidate Rod Inskalop Defeats Mitchell For Mayor
Write-in candidate and local satire writer Rod Inskalop defeated incumbent Mayor Jon Mitchell by a vote of 22 – 20. As expected, voter turnout was low as citizens pushed for the Guinness World Record.
Asked about the keys to victory, Rod responded, “Jon got lazy running unopposed. The kiss of death was when he got the Standard-Times endorsement. Also, word got out how he treats his parking attendants.”
Asked about the low voter turn out, Rod replied, “The voters have spoken! Well … almost none of the voters have spoken, but it was enough to get me into office. Now that we own the Guiness World Record, I expect the turnout to be much higher in 2015.”
“I have a few priorities after inauguration day.” Rod stated. “First, I will rescind the ban on Pajama pants and halt construction on the High Heel Crossing Lanes. Second, I will add $1 million dollars into the school budget so no kid in New Bedford goes through life not knowing what satire is.”