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Buckling

School Bus Drivers to Carry Children To and From Bus

by

New Bedford Schools will soon be offering a new service designed to keep our children safe. Bus drivers will now park in front of a student’s houses, ring the door bell and carry the child to the school bus. Students will be gently tucked into their seat before heading to the next stop likely 10 feet away. Drivers are reminded that it is illegal to pass school buses while this service is being performed.

“It wasn’t enough that we were picking up and dropping off kids in front of their homes,” said School Superintendent Tia Druckman. “In a first world country students shouldn’t have to concern themselves with navigating the dangers of walking from their front door to the school bus.”

schoolbus

When asked to clarify those dangers, Druckman replied, “Shin splits and increased heart rate.”

The move has caused mixed reactions in the community. “It already takes me 30 minutes to travel a mile when I get behind a school bus and now it will take even longer.” Said a concerned resident, “But I guess if it makes our kids safe that is all that matters. I’ll just leave an extra hour early for work.”

15 Comments

  • Gloria
    April 10, 2014 @ 8:15 pm

    How would you justify leaving the other children in the bus and do you really know what it’s like to drive a school bus

    Reply

    • James
      April 10, 2014 @ 10:27 pm

      This is crazy but most buses have monitors now so I would assume that would be the case.

      Reply

      • Jessica
        September 1, 2014 @ 2:06 pm

        this site is supposed to be comical, not the truth.

        Reply

  • Janice
    April 10, 2014 @ 9:10 pm

    for school bus drivers, Just don’t drop the child or fall, the school dept. will not back you up…I know…
    still trying to get help 8 years and counting….

    Reply

  • steve
    April 10, 2014 @ 9:52 pm

    And we wonder why we have an obesity epidemic. god forbid they raise their heart rates a little. While you’re at it dumb ass why don’t you take gym away there might be an injury. These are the people we elect into important jobs I think they need to worry more about what can happen inside the school before we worry about what happens out of school

    Reply

  • Cindy
    April 12, 2014 @ 2:05 am

    This is not going to happen!!

    Reply

  • patricia rowell
    April 12, 2014 @ 7:30 am

    are you people out of your minds….this is probably the stupidest idea i have heard in along time…it is parents job to get their kids on the bus…damn fools.

    Reply

    • Jessica
      September 1, 2014 @ 2:06 pm

      THIS IS A SATIRE SITE FOR CHRISTS SAKE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT SATIRE MEANS? ANYONE?

      Reply

  • Susan
    April 14, 2014 @ 4:20 am

    how about making the kid walk to school like me and my siblings had to.. It wasn’t across the street either..

    Reply

  • Django
    June 27, 2014 @ 1:12 am

    It should be illegal for the dummies that believe this to reproduce

    Reply

  • Ken Curtis
    April 15, 2016 @ 3:27 pm

    First thing to do: Get rid of the yellow school buses and put some nice Greyhound buses in with reclining seats and a stewardess to give the kids snacks on their way to school….then have the obese teachers get them and carry each one piggyback to their soft reclining chairs for a bit of exercise. Then we can truly help everyone out in order to get an ‘educashun’ by instilling Common Core into their minds….

    Reply

  • annmarie
    April 16, 2016 @ 1:17 am

    This is the craziest thing i have ever heard of !!!!!!

    Reply

  • Debbie
    April 16, 2016 @ 1:59 am

    This will be nice for traffic hold ups. Whatever happen to parents waiting outside with the children waiting for the bus. The bus comes around the same time every day. I’m all for keeping children safe, that’s why the parents should do their part and be there with the child or children and if the parent can’t, then arrange for someone to do it. The bus drivers should not park in front of the house and have to ring the door bell. Just saying . . .

    Reply

    • Tammy Henderson
      April 17, 2016 @ 9:56 pm

      I’m still waiting for the “I could have had a V-8″ head slap when people finally realize this is a JOKE/HOAX….

      Reply

  • Ryan
    April 18, 2016 @ 12:55 am

    Haha..I don’t know if these parodies are the funniest thing or the reactions of the people who don’t know..haha

    Reply

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